5 April 2009 - 20:14Zen Spiral

Hundreds of stones upon the ground formed a spiral path.  I found it at the Goldwell Open Air Museum in Rhyolite, Nevada.  Although it was in the midst of modern sculptures in a desert setting, it had no title or artist associated with it.  But I knew what it was; a place to walk and meditate.

I know that meditation, ideally, is about dismissing all thoughts from one’s mind and focusing on the here and now.  Given the disorder which is my mind, if I can get it to focus on only one thing, I’m doing well.

Bob and I came to the open air museum three days into our Death Valley vacation.  Before I left on the trip, I was plagued with worries about mortality and whether my existence on this earth has any meaning.  I highly recommend a drastic change of scene, if you can afford it, to chase away the mid-life angst I was feeling.  In particular, the works at the open air museum invigorated my mind and energized my mood.  The only question was, how could I keep this feeling with me when I traveled home at the end of vacation?

I stepped into the spiral and started to focus on one thought at a time.  In a way, I was making a request to the universe.  Please help me to accept life and its inevitable end.  Help me to appreciate the moment that I am in.  I repeated these two things as I strode the circle, looking down at the many stones on either side of the path.  Then I began to think of all the times in the recent past that I have felt as good about myself and about life as I did at that moment: finding the Hoodoo Marker, researching the Garden of Almanalogy, playing music with my friends.

I reached the center of the spiral, and looked up toward the sky, but nothing came to me at that moment.  So, I started winding back out of the spiral and as I did, noticed the variety of size, shape, and color of the stones.  There’s a place for everyone in this world, and no need for everyone to be the same.  I picked one of the stones to represent myself, and reached down to touch it with loving kindness.  The last thought that came to me in the circle is that I should seek out, as often as possible, those people, places, and things that make me feel happy to be alive.

Not long after this trip, I had another opportunity to follow the wacky side of life that I love so well.  I don’t know when or if I’ll get that story up on this blog, but if I do, at least you’ll know why I do what I do.